Archive November 2011

The growling engine, the screeching brakes 0

Dear Bradshaw,

Last night the fun began with the car alarm, the same endless, shrieking one that has been waking us up two (sometimes three) times a night, every night, for the past week.

As I lay in bed, cursing whoever had parked his babble-mobile on our street, I imagined myself bashing it with a sledgehammer as the neighbors watched from their windows, cheering me on. I started with the windshield, shattering it in one fell swoop, and then climbed onto the hood and gave the roof several mighty whacks. While climbing down and then maneuvering to knock off a hubcap, I remembered that I longed to be sleeping, not mutilating a car and risking arrest, so I began searching for the mechanism — the sensor, detector, or whatever it is that activates the alarm. If I could find that, I’d be in bed snoozing in no time. continue reading »

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