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Paper, plastic, lint, ribbons, ants and other insects 0

Dear Bradshaw,

            What’s new? Nothing? Me neither = drinking wine and writing. Other than that, I thought you’d like to hear what’s new with Jimi. As you know, she’s in the habit of eating anything: paper, plastic, lint, ribbons, ants and other insects, and whatever we eat. Recently, trying to coax food from Francesca, she started showing off with acrobatics and incredible tricks of intelligence, and I mean far beyond what I’d expect from a cat. Just last week, she did a flying pirouette, landing on the arm of the couch with her mouth open, waiting to be awarded with a slice of banana. Yesterday, for a strand of spaghetti, she leaped arching through the air, flipped upside-down over the table, and practically floated to the ground while flapping her paws. I’m telling you, pal, if you’ve never seen a cat do that you’ve got to get your guts over here ASAP. Meanwhile, if I drink one more sip of this wine and then order a pizza, Jimi’ll play the guitar with her teeth, hoping for a bite. And we don’t even have a guitar.

            Of course, these are just the things she’s learned herself. We’ve been teaching her tricks too and now she responds to voice commands and hand signals and can take dictation in both long and short hand. Also, if I say, “Jimi, I want you to balance on your left paw, rise up to the tip of one claw, and then kick your way like a ballerina across the room while meowing the opening notes to The Girl From Ipanema,” she can do it, and does.

            By the way, remember in Thailand when we were playing soccer and I passed you the ball and you headed it into the goal, and then landed with your boot on my big toe, cracking my toenail in half? Just thought now would be a good time to say, “I forgive you.” Of course, I’d have been upset if you hadn’t scored (or had done it on purpose) but you did score, and I limped off the field with my bloody toe, bought a beer, and then drank it while watching the rest of the game.

            How’s that for humility, huh?

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