Archive March 2009

The green leaves of trees 0

Yo Shaw,

            I dreamed about my cousin last night. I haven’t seen him since August and in the dream we were at his house, sitting on his couch, and I was happy to be there and had a lot of questions to ask him. While we were talking, his children appeared, wanting to play and I promised to after I’d spent some time with their father. continue reading »

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The Queen of Sheba 0

Dear Bradshaw,

While walking to work today, I saw a lady pluck the gum she was chewing from her mouth and toss it on the ground. It bounced off the wall of a building and rolled into the middle of the sidewalk, and she just kept on going as if everything was hunky dory, as if that’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re done with the gum you’re chewing. Of course, having seen it all happen, I was able to avoid stepping on it but still, who does she think she is? The Queen of Sheba? Couldn’t she have waited a minute or two until she passed one of the thousands of trashcans and dumpsters lining the streets of Rome, or else tucked the masticated blob into a tissue or a scrap of paper, thereby sparing the general public the frustration and disgust of treading her sticky refuse and trailing it into their cars and homes? Really, Shaw. What’s this world coming to? Although there are worse things going on, I really believe her selfish, inconsiderate behavior epitomizes what’s at the bottom of everything, economic crisis included. How can she be so callous and uncaring? Not only is she jeopardizing her fellow citizens but she’s compromising the city’s beauty and sanitation. continue reading »

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Inside a genie’s lamp 0

Dear Shaw,

            Big news, buddy, big Big BIG news = Francesca and I are getting married. I proposed and she said yeah, sure, let’s do it. We’ve considered all matrimony maneuvers, everything from jumping out of an airplane to exchanging wedding vows at the bottom of the Pacific. We’ve discussed having the reception in an empty bottle of wine or inside a genie’s lamp, otherwise on the moon or around the sun or some other satellite or star, but nothing seemed to strike the right cord. So we settled on a restaurant in Laguna Beach. continue reading »

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A fill-in-the-blank exercise 0

Dear Bradshaw,

            Beer. Can you believe that, buddy? I’m drinking beer instead of wine. “Why?” you may be wondering and, well, I’ll tell ya. A buddy from the States was here, stayed with us for a few days, and he likes beer and bought beer but didn’t drink beer. I’m emptying the bottles so I can free space in the refrigerator. continue reading »

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