Archive February 2009

Get your wings out of my wine glass! 0

Dear Bradshaw,

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† Here I am again = the end of another day. It’s dark outside and I’ve got the lights on inside and if you think about that for a second you might realize how wrong that is. God has turned the lights off outside so I turn them on inside, directly defying His master plan. Oh well, whatever, right? These things take care of themselves, do they not? For better or worse. continue reading »

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One of them Saturn’s rings 0

Yo Shaw,

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† It’s 9am and I’m drinking wine.¬† Actually, I’ve cut out the morning sessions, for the most part, and in celebration of that fact (and since we had an unfinished bottle already open from last night) I decided to celebrate my week-long success by having a glass or two (so far two) this morning.¬† Red, in case you were wondering.¬† Too early, you think?¬† Listen, a bottle opened eleven hours ago ages at an exponential rate.¬† If I don’t drink it now, who will, and then what?

            I rest my case.

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† So I’m sitting here now, writing you this letter, drinking wine, and thinking about being here instead of Nottingham or Niger or Neptune.¬† Could you imagine that?¬† If I were on Neptune or one of them Saturn’s rings, you wouldn’t be reading this right now.

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Licking myself clean 0

Yo Shaw,

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† More bathroom business… While in the shower this morning, after I’d washed the soap out of my eyes, lo and behold! who did I find next to me? Jimi. I’ve told you she follows me wherever I go but this was the first time in the shower and I’ve been wondering what she was doing in there. Supervising my personal hygiene? Appraising my manliness? Confirming that the conditioner remained in my hair for more than a minute? continue reading »

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Something exotic for dinner 0

Dear Bradshaw,

            I realized something was wrong at the very beginning of the lesson. Seconds after pulling up a stool and seating myself at the desk, I sniffed a foul odor, and yet it was also a semi-sweet stink, and I found myself thinking for the better part of an hour that nine-year-old new student Alessia needed a bath, or else that her mother was preparing something exotic for dinner.

¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† Fifty-five minutes into the hour-long lesson, little Alessia suddenly said, “Uh oh! Guess what? Look at your shoe.” continue reading »

2 people like this post.

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