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As easy as 2 + 2 0

Dear Bradshaw,

While I was showering with Francesca the other day (nothing x-rated, we were in a rush), she noticed that I washed the conditioner out of my hair seconds after having rubbed it in, and said, “No, no, no, you’ve got to leave it in longer. Like that, it doesn’t do any good.”

“Come on,” I said. “What difference does it make?”

But this morning I tried it and I have to admit, my hair feels softer, fuller, and much more pliable. Meanwhile, some of that jojoba must have seeped into my scalp and been absorbed by my brain because I can also think more clearly and understand concepts that had previously been beyond my grasp. For example, I just browsed through Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and for the first time in my life the mathematical equations and scientific formulas made perfect sense, as easy as 2 + 2. Also, more spiritual issues like the nature of the universe and the meaning of existence are no longer mysteries but more like nursery rhymes to me.

Meanwhile, I realize that by washing out the conditioner in order to save time, I had actually been wasting time (and natural/unnatural resources, i.e. the product and the plastic). What irony. At times the world seems this way. All of us racing toward some goal, deadline or rendezvous with our attention at half-mast. As a result, instead of doing something right we do it wrong and it’s time that would have been better spent doing something else.

So that’s it then. No more Robot Scott. I’ve decided to apply the lesson I learned from Francesca and conditioner to every aspect of my life and now I’m a new man. No more doing this and that and going here and there with my feet on the ground and my head in the clouds. From now on I breathe in and out, slow down and think about things, have fun and live while I’m alive.

Jeez, Shaw, to think it was under my nose all this time and I’ve only just now noticed.

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