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How loose is your goose? 0

Dear Bradshaw,

            Did that guard really call you Butthead? Unbelievable. He’s taunting you partner. Ignore him. He must be jealous about something. Maybe he wishes he had your muscles or your soap collection. People often put other people down to make themselves feel better. Next time he calls you a name, say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.” Regarding what you said the last time: “I know you are but what am I?” That type of response encourages chaos. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

            You know you’re not a butthead and that should be enough. Do you sit on your face when you defecate? Do you fart out of your ears? I doubt it, and if you do, don’t. That just validates his accusation.

            Look in the mirror if you forget. You’re Bradshaw, not Butthead. In the meantime, how loose is your goose? Simon says sing that seven times.

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