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Paint it pinker 0

Bradshaw,

            That story you wrote in your last letter about the guy with the tattoo of a mouth on his stomach and how he started stuffing oatmeal into his bellybutton made me laugh so much that I swallowed my gum and I wasn’t even chewing gum. I especially loved that picture you drew of yourself sitting in church. Judging by the eyes of that stick figure leading the hymn I’d say your pastor is a pirate.

            Weird things have been happening, Bradshaw, wacky stuff. Yesterday, arriving home from work unexpectedly early, I found a book under the blankets with the radio. The book’s jacket was on the floor and the radio’s wires were wrapped around its cover and binding. The clock was filming the affair so I bought some popcorn from a pair of socks, sat in a chair and watched.

            Enough of that nonsense, let’s get going. Let’s get to the good stuff. Let’s get a gorilla and shave off its hair. Let’s get a flamingo and paint it pinker. Let’s get a plate of pasta and eat the plate, not the pasta. Let’s get a bottle of water and balance it on somebody’s head and tell them if it falls off we’re going to shave them like a gorilla.

            Hey, Shaw, I was wondering, have you ever laughed so hard that you couldn’t cough? Me no.

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