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a new Earth critter, fresh from nirvana 0

Dear Bradshaw,

            What’s the word? How’s it going in there? You’ve probably got the whole place in the crook of your elbow by now. Knowing you, I don’t doubt it.

            You might remember that Francesca has been begging me for a cat and I kept vetoing the idea but well, finally, I figured it would be worth seeing the look on her face when she came home from work and there was a kitten running around so I secretly took a day off to adopt one.

            Monday evening, when she walked through the door and I greeted her, she started to say something but then suddenly her eyes shot down to the ground and stared past me into the living room where a five-week-old black kitten was tottering toward us. She was speechless and her eyes filled with tears. Blood rushed to her face as she slowly walked over then picked the kitten up.

            We named her Jimi Hendrix. (Although a female, she is black and I plan to teach her to play guitar… with her teeth.)  In the meantime, Jimi has been acquainting herself with her new home and causing chaos and wreaking havoc just as I expected. She gnaws on cords and claws the couch. She typed 0000000000009 on my computer and takes stinky craps. (In the litter box, at least. Good job, Jimi!)

            Cat owners have warned me to be strict in the beginning: reprimand her for every infraction, lock her in the bathroom when we’re not here so she doesn’t develop any bad and unbreakable habits. But she’s a cute little kitten so it’s difficult to chastise her when I catch her doing destructive things. After all = five-weeks old, a new Earth critter fresh from the state of suspended nirvana. She should be allowed to be a kitten and to do cat things. Who cares if she claws the couch, right? After all, the Second Law of Thermodynamics states that all physical or chemical changes proceed in a direction such that useful energy undergoes irreversible degradation into a random, disordered form called entropy. Let her be, I say. Do you disagree? If yes, say so, pal, because if I don’t put my foot down now, I’m dust.

            That’s it for now, my fine, unfeathered friend. Be on your best behavior and remember to chew your food ten times before swallowing.

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